Image courtesy of thepathtraveler, published on 23 May 2012, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
A lady I know repeatedly told herself (and everyone around her) she doesn’t want kids, yet, that’s what she focuses on in many conversations. She has been telling the story of how she’s scared to become a mom and she’s received just that – no child or family to call her own. Her closest friends could see the pangs of jealousy cross her face when yet another one of her friends got married or had a new baby. Yet, she was so comfortable telling her story and too prideful to change it, that she’d rather hang on to that old fear rather than explore the possibilities of what her dreams could mean for her.
I used to fear to dream because I was scared of let down. I wanted to inoculate myself from the pain of not receiving what I really wanted in my life. I was limited in my understanding that what I want has already been created and I just needed to be awakened and to allow it to manifest through me. I failed to realize that when I focused on my fears, rather than my dreams, all I was getting was more of what I truly feared and less of what I wanted.
In the case of the lady, she feared being let down and alone, more than she feared becoming a mother, but she is not honest about where her fear is stemming from, and until she is, she will remain in a holding pattern, not able to reach the life she truly wants.
When it comes to your dreams, are you being honest with yourself on a) having a dream? b) are you wearing other people’s desires for your life, instead of wearing and embodying your own? c) are you moving through your fears, taking faithful, measured and even small steps towards your dream?
The answers will tell you whether or not you’re allowing fear to run your life and whether that fear is an accurate out picturing of what you really are afraid of. It’s okay to have and recognize when you’re afraid, but do not confuse that with trying to head off disappointment if your dreams don’t come true. Hedging your dreams all the time, fearing they will never come true will manifest exactly what you fear – not having your dream. Instead, shift your focus, envision and feel what it would be like to already have your dream fulfilled. Then, let go of the worry over the outcome.
~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley
Abundant~Life~Initiative 
We all cling to fears. Your a,b,c question however is relevant for all, The dream possibly is an issue behind the fear. Facing what darkness is in the way of love is essential for spiritual freedom. There is a bondage that often my be given an ugly name that is in us when we remain slaves to ego thoughts and driven by what we call memories that actually are more identities. Possibly I’m advancing this topic beyond your intent. The thing is that maybe this conflicted person that you describe is someone that is repressing additional split off memories that may in the future take on personality and may even have a life out there of their own; it can be very very frightening if these sort of stirrings project themselves at the edge of consciousness… its just a guess. Prayer is good in any case.
Blessings.
~ Eric
Hi Eric, Thank you so much for your very thought provoking, on point comment! My goodness, I had to read your comment to my close ones because that’s it! I have come to find compassion for those, and myself included for shying away from what we want. Spiritual freedom is what’s on the other side of that fear that binds our spirits and keeps us in a stagnant place. Nothing wrong, I suppose, with being in a stagnant place, but if we want more for ourselves and the world, then we’ve got to pray, center our minds and tap into what we want to do, just as you so eloquently said. Blessings to you, Kim
When fear has company of conscious shame, guilt, remorse, regrets; ego loves to bask in the self pity… then its obvious… then I am prepared on how to face my fear.
In cases where there is an unconscious component, like a conflict that prevents knowing the source of fears consciously; preventing working out objectives toward some progress, there usually is a period of being stuck; like its as though there is a program running that is rooted in strong desire for stagnation.
Looking at stagnation, I find my fears are disguised as all but complexly forgotten events and I need to move out the blaming someone or the moment of intense feeling of being inept. Something had become all but repressed for good – mostly subconscious… its what my ego loves to hold back until I forge ahead enough to sense and then feel and even see connection of we all… ego then plays that card at the right moment “BUT… ”
I do what you mentioned – close my eyes and get in the present and then just quietly watch the path of stagnation… it leads to a fork… on one fork is the fear, just peering at it is all that is required… the other fork is the right path. Holy Spirit is there, looking beyond the fork to all that is; all that is is present; all that is eternal is with me then. I may move with Holy Spirit now to understand the values of my fears are none and the acceptance of compassion is all.
That is as briefly as I can say this for now Kim.
We can hold the space for our loved ones… that is how I do it; or we can comfort them with hope and I can do that for some friends/loved ones too. We can turn away too; but if we forget this path, it will be stumbled upon on another day and they we will be wondering “haven’t I been here before – what was that problem… o my, I really gotta get better at finding the source of these problems when they first crop up. I will with Holy Spirit… Thank You Holy Spirit – can you show me what I need again today to love my sisiter/brother/father/mother/child/friend/enemy, etc.? I know You will.”
Love _so_n_so_.. Its all that Holy Spirit can use to show use the moment of eternal dawning.
Blessings.
~ Eric
Enjoyed this very much. Fear is probably the biggest obstacle keeping us from just living our lives.
Hi Michele and thank you! I agree, fear is probably the biggest obstacle that hinders us. It blinds us for a moment, or a lifetime. It’s riding through life with the emergency brakes on. ~Kim