Choice | Abundant~Life~Initiative

Image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

In looking at the above picture, we could choose to see a lonely, desolate place for a church. Some would choose not to drive on that tiny, dirt road. Others may see a beautiful place to get away, finding this lone church a sanctuary. It all comes down to choice. How are you going to choose to feel in the moment before the drive up?

Let’s look at some potentially stressful life experiences and see what your first reaction would be and then what could we choose to feel about that situation.

I got passed over for yet another promotion! Why are my talents and abilities always overlooked?
I ran up my credit cards again, and this time, I don’t see a way out of paying them off.
I almost wished I hadn’t gone to college. I’ve racked up this student loan debt and can’t find nothing but menial jobs that barely covers my living expenses.
I wished I went to college, maybe I would have had a better job than the one I have now.
I think my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on me. Now what?
My kids are growing up and don’t need me as much. Where does that leave me?
I can never seem to make enough to make ends meet. I have a “good” job, but I’m not making enough to cover all my expenses.
My parents/friends/lovers are considering a move to a faraway place. Where does that leave me?
There’s so much violence, conflict and suffering in the world. What am I supposed to do about it? How can I pursue happiness when others are suffering?
I was just diagnosed with _________, now what?

What’s your first reaction to each of the above scenarios? Look at them again with a new perspective. What is an alternative, uplifting alternative feeling/expression you could choose to feel in each situation?

How you traverse the mountains of change reveals how you cope with situations that move you out of your comfort zone. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

When you reflect on your past choices and paths traveled, what is your self talk saying about you after you’ve made those choices? Do you feel like you had choices in the matters that concerned you? If not, who held the power of choice in your life? Did that perceived power shift take anything away from your ability to choose?

There is no right or wrong answer – it’s just important to take a look at your choice styles. Let’s pick a few of the above situations and see if we can choose to see the blessing in each of them.

Situation #1: The persistent promotion passover on face value appears like it’s the worst career situation to find yourself in. One could resign themselves to feeling unwanted and unsupported, which in turn generates behaviors in yourself and those around you that may result in undesirable changes, such as being fired. The other choice you have is choose to say, “The Universe recognizes the last position I tried to promote to may not be exactly what I want or need. God knows my true desire. And, whoever receives this promotion will have to work long hours to get the work done versus my comfortable forty hour work week. My life right as it is now cannot support a sixty hour work week – I have a new baby who requires more of me than I am able to give to a demanding career right now. I love my baby and the balance I have right now is what works for me. I wanted my family more than I ever wanted this job. God will show me the best position when it’s time and I’m ready to receive it.” See how a perception change can transform a situation right before your eyes? And, that same paradigm shift is what it will take to bring forth that dream job you want – not the ego driven dream job that really fits someone else’s life. The ego driven job search rarely produces jobs aligned to who we are and what we like to do.

Situation #2: The I am in over my head with debt scenario. You could choose to feel defeated, ashamed you can’t better manage your debt or spending, and you begin to stress over how you can barely pay the minimum payments. Another choice is to first forgive and have compassion for yourself for being in debt. Recognize you made choices to incur the debt, so now it’s time to reclaim your power to bring balance in your life. Perhaps you’ve decided to take on each credit card and negotiate what’s owed to them. Or, you could consider bankruptcy to start anew. Or, you could elect to get a second job for the sole purpose of paying bills. You could create a budget. There are so many divinely led steps you could take, instead of choosing to remain in fear or denial.

Situation #3: My partner, the cheater. One can lose a bit of their self-worth with scenarios such as this one. Instead of blaming yourself or the other person, accept that it happened and thankful God revealed to you what’s going on. Sometimes, we just can’t see the subtle, low vibrational changes occurring in our relationships. Cheating is the symptom of a bigger issue in the relationship. Instead of spending too much time in grief, anger and sadness, find the blessing in that pain. “Now I know – and I had a feeling all along. I have to exercise more trust in my own intuition, but it’s okay that I did not find out until today. I can now make a choice on whether this relationship is worth saving or if it’s not. I got to this point of looking at my relationship, so I need to know why it took me this long to see the signs. At least it’s not five years later and now I can make some real life decisions with this new information.”

Any of the above ten situations could have bounds of blessings in them, if only we choose to see them. Some things that happen, at face value, look dismal – but a new perspective is what will transcend you to the next level of manifesting. You have the freedom to choose! Choose a higher vibrational rung to grasp each time, and you will be on your way to a truly abundant life.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev, published on 08 December 2010, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them – Albert Einstein

Podcast Recommendation to listen to in conjunction with this blog post: Think, Believe and Manifest Show with Constance Arnold, Sunday, August 31, 2014, titled “Depression and The Law of Attraction.” Constance gives tips for people experiencing depression, how depression impacts manifestation, and how to move from depression to a place of wholeness and happiness – a must listen-to Podcast, even for those who are not depressed.

Albert Einstein’s quote is a poignant reminder when we dwell in our problems, we stay in our problems. We have to shift our attention to what feels good, which is where the solutions lie.

There is nothing in this world so grave and depraved that requires us to live in darkness, despair and suicide contemplation.

A few weeks ago, my mother declared she was in a good mood and it was because she chose to be. When she woke up that morning, she was in a bad mood, but she told herself she was going to decide to be in a good mood instead. When I called her the next day, she reported she was still in a good mood. I expressed to her how good it was to hear her say she decided to be in a good mood. She shifted her focus from her sour feelings to feelings of joy and gratitude. The key words are choice and shifting focus.

We, as humans have the ability to choose and the most powerful choice we have is to choose how we feel in any given moment or situation and not to be a victim shrouded in negative emotions. I know some will argue depressed people do not choose to be depressed – but I beg to differ. Please understand to know a depressed person is to have been one. I can say with certainty that depressed, downtrodden people have the ability to choose.

We have to move from victimhood to victory. We do that by reclaiming our power of choice.

In my early teen years, twice I tried to kill myself. I didn’t feel worthy of love. Through counseling and deep soul searching, I was able to reclaim my self-worth. I was blessed with teachers, counselors, family and friends who reminded me what a wonderful person I was – even when I chose not to feel so wonderful. In time, I found the inner strength to validate my self-worth from the inside out, instead of the outside in.

Before it was too late, I came to know God’s love. He had plans for me and I had plans to co-create with God. I began to lean on God’s love during the darkest of times. He revealed I was in a season of darkness, and it was time to move towards the light.

I shifted my focus from what made me sad, to what gave me glimmers of hope and happiness. I made a choice to reach out for help. I chose to feel a little better each day, even though most days were bleak and physically painful to endure. Through the tears, I found a few tucked away smiles. Laughter was like gold – the more I could laugh, the better I’d feel.

I was diagnosed with all sorts of issues – clinical depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD. The doctors prescribed medications that numbed me to any feelings. I suppose numbness was better than deep and chronic sadness, but I wanted to feel again!

By age seventeen, I was no longer going to allow the depression to be my future story. Against doctor’s wishes, but with their close supervision, I weaned myself off antidepressants and I continued to see a counselor who taught meditation techniques. My life has never been the same since I made the choice to live.

I am not minimizing depression, but I do have to remind people to we all have a choice. Life can sometimes be dark and lonely, but that is still a choice to feel that way. Instead of seeing light, you’ve chosen to see darkness. Instead of feeling just a bit of gratitude and peace, you chose to feel anxiety and pain. You can choose differently in any given moment to feel a little bit better and if you can’t, then by all means, choose to reach out to someone to help throw you a lifeline. I knew I needed to choose a new way of coping, because I wanted to be able to feel ALL of my emotions, ALL of the time.

I know people who benefit greatly from antidepressants – and I am not saying to wean yourself off like I did or to feel shame for taking them. Medications are a blessing for those who need them. Over time, I grew to a point where I knew I did not need them anymore. I could trust my feelings again to guide me.

I decided to reclaim my power over my body, mind and spirit, instead of relying on doctors to tell me how I feel and drugs to numb the very gift that makes me beautifully human. That choice I made still resonates with me. I marvel at my seventeen year old self’s courage to tell the doctors no more pills. I was taking control of my life ship, no matter how stormy the waters got.

Today, I love myself, no matter what people or circumstances have to say about me. There are times when I’m stressed or down, but my happiness base line never dips to a point of self-loathing and self-harm.

My peaceful resolve and abundant happiness stemmed from great pain, so, I know of what I speak. Some people assume I’ve had it easy because of my sunny disposition I hold today. What they don’t know is a series of choices got me to where I am – not easy-living.

When you or a loved one are having a rough time, remember your/their freedom to choose how to feel in the next moment, which will lay down the foundation for how one will feel in the next moment, and the next. No matter how bleak a life situation may seem, remember your power to choose – moment to moment. Remember God is love and you remain eternally worthy of It.

*Not every depressed person is suicidal, but it can be a slippery slope. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Suicide attempts are a cry for help – listen and take swift action.

With Love,

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley