Bad Days to Jubilant Expectation

Courtesy of via Facebook

I’d be lying if I said every day was a wonderful, full of roses and smiles. I may be a positive, upbeat person, but I have days where sometimes I want to hang up all the hats I wear on the coat rack of life, but the Higher Me knows better. My Higher Self knows there will be tough days and there will be days of exuberance and there will be days somewhere in between.

Today, I could have crawled back in bed and started over. I overslept. I felt a cold bug tickling my throat. I received an email from my landlord that he needs to come into the house today. My two year old Ella made a mess in almost every room last night and because I was cramming for an Asian Literature final, I did not pick up before his visit. I fretted all day over what my landlord and the roofer would think of my untidy house, with the clean laundry piled high on the couch and toys scattered about. I was not able to even read my good friend’s email, because I had so much on my mind. I encountered hellish traffic to and from the college, turning a 20 minute ride into a two hour round trip ordeal. I told myself I didn’t care what grade I got. I bombed the final – got a measly 26% on the multiple choice section. We’ll see how I did on the essay section. I guess I cared what I got, after all. I got into an argument with my husband. We’re still not talking.

There were some high points in my day. I had a great cup of coffee. I managed to squeeze in a few emails to and from my sister, which made me feel connected and loved. I got through all that I set out to do at work. I listened to some awesome podcasts from Summer McStravick of Flowdreaming. I manifested $147.59. Coming back from lunch, I saw a penny on the ground. I said to myself, “that’s nice, but I’m going to find $100.00.” I filled myself with belief that the money was on its way to me – a little experiment with the Universe. I forgot all about that exchange until just a few minutes ago, I checked my email. My insurance company informed me they were depositing $147.59 into my account-dividends they give their members each year. Bless my bones! My eleven year son, Daniel, reminding me that yes, I had a bad day, but there was so many things to be happy about. “Isn’t that what you’re always telling me, Mom?” I enjoyed reading books to Ella and we sang songs. She has the sweetest, most precious little voice. “The Wheels on the Bus” is our favorite sing along song, followed by “If you’re Happy and you know it…”

I remembered why I took that Asian Literature class in the first place and realized that I got from it, what I set out to get. I needed to immerse myself into Japanese American literature, which is exactly what I got. I stumbled across jewels of information that would help me in writing my own novel involving a Japanese family. I wanted to read more than write, for a change. I wanted to practice waking up at 5AM to write reports on literature pieces I read, which I now wake up most mornings to blog or work on my novel, or read, or do homework. I wanted to prove to Dr. Professor I was a smart cookie. I wanted to prove to myself that I was worthy of the job title as writer. I proved it.

As my bad day played itself out, I still set the intention for good things to unfold, later in my future seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, life time. I’ve had worse days, I’ve had the highest of the high days. No matter what, I hold steadfast to my purpose, my desires for my future. I never lose sight on deliberate creation in my life.


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