Category Archives: Loss

Whatever Happened to That Blog?

Posted in Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Loss, Manifestation, Spirituality by
Image courtesy of “Scenery Of The Wooden Pier In The Morning” by surasakiStock. From http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of “Scenery Of The Wooden Pier In The Morning” by surasakiStock. From http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Ever wonder where a blogger goes when their blog site goes silent? What has distracted them to the point they are no longer posting?

In my case, my blog fell silent for several months because of a tragic automobile accident with my middle child, Daniel. January of this year, I witnessed a drunk driver strike my 13 year old, nearly killing him. The drunk driver was running from California Highway Patrol in a residential neighborhood and traveling 77 miles per hour at impact. Daniel spent a little under a month in ICU and I spent days and nights by his hospital bed. In the first few nights of his hospital stay, we didn’t know if he would make it. Once we knew he would survive, we were then faced with not knowing whether Daniel would be able to walk again. Needless to say, I was not inspired to write a check or even a Facebook post, let alone a blog post, as I was traumatized and emotionally spent.

Through the highs and lows of first thinking I was going to lose my son, to his miraculous recovery, and the turmoil that is continuing to unfold with the legal wrangling, I witnessed so many miracles – daily (more to come on those beautiful miracles!). These miracles reminded me in my darkest hours that God was still there, guiding my every step. Many days I had to lean on God moment to moment, because I had little else to lean on to. God showed his loving ways through loved ones and strangers and I am forever grateful for those angels (and there were so many beautiful angels from my town!) who showed me love when hate could have easily enveloped my heart.

When Daniel was released, I became his nurse and caregiver, a role I was thrown into by circumstance, but one I was grateful to be in. I connected with my son in a way that will forever bind us both, as he had to rely on me for everything.

While I was away, I still tried to stay in writing practice by putting small notes into a journal, spending precious time with and loving on my three kids like I never had before. My family’s life as we knew it had turned completely upside down – which made me reevaluate what was really important in my life.

To all of my followers and readers – I’m sorry I was gone for too long without any explanation. Thank you to those who continued to stop by my blog during this very trying time.

What’s to come on AbundantLifeInitiative.com and KimberlyJoCooley.com (launching soon!):

  • More inspirational posts on Abundant~Life~Initiative and the invitation to contribute to the blog is still open.
  • Inspirational Podcast and Book Recommendations.
  • Video and Live Streaming – I am being spiritually called to share my face and my voice with the world.
  • My new blog site, https://kimberlyjocooley.com/ is my personal blog that will delve more into my personal writer’s life and the behind the scenes of Abundant~Life~Initiative (the discoveries and frustrations that are often left out of the abundantlifeinitiative.com blog posts). I will also list my own tools and tricks for managing a full work and family life, while blogging and writing along the way.
  • Kimberly*Jo*Cooley is my gift to myself – it’s been so long since I’ve focused on my writing. Now is the time. An official launch of Kimberly*Jo*Cooley will be coming very soon!

I look forward to getting reconnected with my blogging community and getting back to my creative roots of writing. It’s been entirely too long since we’ve last connected and I’ve missed you all.

Many blessings to all of you!

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

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Your Problem’s New Street Name is Opportunity!

Posted in Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Loss, Love, Manifestation, Work Life by
Image courtesy of Red Ant With Problem by photoexplorer, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Red Ant With Problem by photoexplorer, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Are you saddled with problems? Are you wrapped up in what’s not working, that you’ve neglected to focus on what is working and what opportunities you do have to change your circumstances? Well, a definite must-listen-to-twice Podcast is Rae Zander’s Everyday Attraction’s Friday, July 17, 2015 show, “Getting Current With Who You Have Become” (https://www.unity.fm/episode/EverydayAttraction_071715).

Rae asked in her show, are you loving your life, even when the shit hits the fan? We’ve come here to sometimes muck things up. Life isn’t meant to be one long, easy ride. Can you imagine how boring life would be if everything was vanilla and smooth? Me personally, I like a hellishly fun roller coaster ride to let me know I’m alive.

Stop looking at your problems, as problems! Look at them as answers to your prayers. Money troubles, health issues, relationship woes, career snags, the big Ds (divorce, debt, death), are not here to kill you, they are here because you can sculpt a blob of clay into a beautiful piece of art. The blob of clay is your life waiting for you to create what you want with it. Once you stop looking at your problems as evidence of everything going wrong, switch it around and think of it as everything going right. Practice this with seemingly small “problems” and watch how everything shifts and moves in the “right” direction. Even if you have to remold your clay of areas in your life over and over again, remember there’s no right or wrong way to create your life’s masterpiece.

Now that these areas in your life have your attention, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to continue to manifest more contrast with negative thoughts about your “problems?” Or, are you going to change course and move in a different direction? Maybe a new word to use in place of “problem” is “opportunity.”

The reason more “bad” things happen is because we dwell in the negative emotions that come with dealing with so-called problems. The more angst and anxiety around a certain subject, the more you align to that emotional vibrational frequency. Look at problems as opportunities to do and feel something different.

The truth is, “what’s going on in your bank account today is yesterday’s news,” according to Rae from Everyday Attraction. She opines we’ve already manifested the low funds and crying over the present circumstance is a waste of energy. Sure, you could cry and tell the story to all your friends that you are broke, but guess what? All that’s doing is perpetuating the circumstance you’re trying to move away from. Shift your perception to what it is you DO have and want. That’s why gratitude journals are so useful. They remind us how we are already abundant.

Abundance is not just money. If you can breathe, you are blessed. If you can read this blog post and understand what its saying, you are blessed.  If you have no pain, you are blessed. And, if you have love in your heart and are loved, you are abundantly blessed. Stop telling stories of lack, and start celebrating and holding into gratitude what’s going right in your life.

I love the term “divine discontent.” I read a Facebook post recently from a co-worker asking if her friends knew of any companies that are hiring. I know from working with her that she’s in a highly stressful job and I can relate because three years ago, that was me, too. But, I also know that her discontent is divinely sent. The uncomfortableness of her stressful job has her searching for something better, more in alignment with where she truly wants to be. She may not have articulated it in that fashion, but that’s what it is. She’s calling out for something better because her discontent is showing her she’s unhappy. And, her taking the simple step of asking friends if there are other jobs out there is signaling to herself and the Universe that she’s ready to do something about her discontent.

The uninformed person would whine about their stressful job for years before they decide to change their thinking to open up to new possibilities. But, the enlightened person takes action when they feel the lower vibrational energies stirring inside them. They realize the present circumstance is a manifestation of yesterday’s thoughts. They know their present circumstance does not bound their future – unless they allow it to. Your power is ALWAYS IN THE NOW. Act like the Co-Creator you’ve come to earth to be and get out of the victimhood mentality.

Rae says when you start to shift your perception of what’s going on is when you finally come to a place of finding more balance in your life, no matter what is actually unfolding in the present moment.

Stop looking at problems like fifteen ton weights holding you down and look at them as possibilities to set you free!

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Revisit: Thank you Mr. Mandela, for Teaching the Cycle of Forgiveness

Posted in Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Loss, Love, Relationships by

I originally wrote this blog post following Nelson Mandela’s death in December 2013 and I needed a refresher on the subject of forgiveness and resentment. This post deals with forgiveness in love relationships, but it really speaks to all situations that is calling for  forgiveness and letting go of resentment. My 2015 self made some edits to my 2013 post :-).

Image courtesy of "Lonely Tree" by Evgeni Dinev, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of “Lonely Tree” by Evgeni Dinev, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

“As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, that I would still be in prison.”

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

-Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela passed away today, at the age of 95. Nelson Mandela’s life – long, fruitful, inspirational, fraught with pain and struggle, triumph and victory – is something we all should aspire to be. I thank him for all the teaching moments his life brought to my life and his spirit and legacy lives on forever.

Below is a question posed to me on the subject of forgiveness and my response:

Q. Can you share your thoughts about forgiveness? I’ve always heard how people chose to forgive someone who hurt them deeply in one way or another in order to help them move on. What does that mean and how do you accomplish it?

Letting go. Time truly heals many wounds but in the meantime, how can one work on letting go of a situation? Is it best to force yourself to not think about it, i.e. whenever the thought crosses your mind, change the subject so to speak? Or do you try to keep busy and occupy yourself so as to distract you?

How does one remain hopeful of love and marriage? Is there really truly somebody for everybody?

A. Forgiveness. Such a heavy proposition, isn’t it? Why should we have to forgive those who trespass us?

It’s just as much about you as it is the person whose being forgiven, if not more about you. Not forgiving holds us back, dims and dulls our life’s experiences, and drags us down.

Nelson Mandela’s first quote above is not talking about the brick and mortar prison he sat in for 27 years for anti-Apartheid activities. He’s talking about the prison of our minds – the bondage of holding in resentment. His quote can help us better understand the notion of forgiveness in relationships and how it is necessary for moving on to bigger and better love. If we cannot let go of the pain, bitterness, anger, and resentment, then we will never fully move into the present of the here and now. The here and now is freedom to love.

Resentment comes from a misunderstanding many of us have about a situation or person. We believe they have wronged us and we come to hate a person. Remember that you called this person into your life, or at the very least allowed that person to enter your sphere. Think about the reasons why they were in your life. Acknowledge and appreciate their good qualities you loved about them. And, thank God for showing you the qualities in them that you could very much live without. It is especially the parts of a person that hurt you that has the most to offer you – the relationship is gone and over, but you now learned a little more about yourself in terms of what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

Nelson Mandela had several loves in his life, including three wives. Each of those wives, he loved deeply and considered them partners and soul mates. Two of the three marriages ended in divorce. Winnie Mandela allegedly cheated on Mr. Mandela and was emotionally neglectful to him– yet, he found love again at the age of 77, and died a happily married man at the age of 95. I read that in divorce court, Nelson Mandela smiled at his soon to be former wife, Winnie, but she turned away. He was sorrowful and humbled during the divorce proceedings and he spoke of his love and appreciation for his wife. He knew there was no hope for their relationship, but he chose to not be mired in pain and resentment towards his ex-wife.

Mr. Mandela’s story tells us that soul mates can come in many different forms and times in our lives. There are some loves in your life greater than others because of the chemistry or attachment you have to a person. As many times as you believe your soul mate is out there, is as many times your soul mate is forming and finding their way to you. Many people have great loves in their lives, not just one.

Allow yourself a little time to mourn the demise of a relationship, but write a reminder somewhere you can refer to that says when you’re ready and open, love is available to you. Dwelling in sadness only delays the recovery and the rediscovery of yourself in this life and of future loves to come. Don’t let unforgiveness of the person you once was in a relationship with slow down your momentum to a loving state of being with yourself, someone new, and old connections.

If you’ve ever tried to not think about something, then you likely know that it is almost impossible not to think about that very thing you’re trying to avoid thinking about. Deal with the feelings early and head on. Wallow, watch bad romantic comedies, cry, talk it out with friends and write in a journal. When you spend a little time mourning, remember there is a season for sadness and there is a season for moving. Take a trip, pick up a new hobby, or set up a regular volunteer activity to help move you into your new season of life and love. Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t let them rule you or your life. Give yourself a break and have fun! Dating and making new friends is an adventure – the hunt for the love(s) of your life should be a good time, with a little contrast here and there. Isn’t that why we signed up for this thing called love and life anyway?

Finally, BE forgiveness. One of the qualities we want in our mates is the ability to forgive and humility. If those are qualities you want in others, make sure it’s something you have inside yourself as well. As a matter of fact, any trait you’d like to see in your partner, bring that energy into your own being right here, right now. BE the forgiveness. Appreciate – even if all you can think of is the negative in a person or situation. The negativity or adversity is only clarifying what it is you really want in your life, so have compassion for yourself and that person. Bless yourself and the other person by praying for you and them to be love and peace.

In relationships, there will be transgressions, arguments, and disagreements. A person who can quickly regroup and forgive is one that will succeed in life and love.

The cycle of forgiveness is necessary to keep mankind in love and in check. The moment you truly forgive, is the moment you are free from the prison of resentment. Forgiveness sets us all free, both the forgiven and the forgiving. The moment each of us wholeheartedly takes part in this beautiful cycle, the moment love blooms and dwells freely inside all of us.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Freedom Consciousness: Part Six – Freedom to Choose a New Thought

Posted in Dating, Inspiration, Loss, Love, Manifestation, New Thought, Prosperity, Relationships, Spirituality, Work Life by

In looking at the above picture, we could choose to see a lonely, desolate place for a church. Some would choose not to drive on that tiny, dirt road. Others may see a beautiful place to get away, finding this lone church a sanctuary. It all comes down to choice. How are you going to choose to feel in the moment before the drive up?

Let’s look at some potentially stressful life experiences and see what your first reaction would be and then what could we choose to feel about that situation.

  1. I got passed over for yet another promotion! Why are my talents and abilities always overlooked?
  2. I ran up my credit cards again, and this time, I don’t see a way out of paying them off.
  3. I almost wished I hadn’t gone to college. I’ve racked up this student loan debt and can’t find nothing but menial jobs that barely covers my living expenses.
  4. I wished I went to college, maybe I would have had a better job than the one I have now.
  5. I think my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on me. Now what?
  6. My kids are growing up and don’t need me as much. Where does that leave me?
  7. I can never seem to make enough to make ends meet. I have a “good” job, but I’m not making enough to cover all my expenses.
  8. My parents/friends/lovers are considering a move to a faraway place. Where does that leave me?
  9. There’s so much violence, conflict and suffering in the world. What am I supposed to do about it? How can I pursue happiness when others are suffering?
  10. I was just diagnosed with _________, now what?

What’s your first reaction to each of the above scenarios? Look at them again with a new perspective. What is an alternative, uplifting alternative feeling/expression you could choose to feel in each situation?

How you traverse the mountains of change reveals how you cope with situations that move you out of your comfort zone. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • When you reflect on your past choices and paths traveled, what is your self talk saying about you after you’ve made those choices? Do you feel like you had choices in the matters that concerned you? If not, who held the power of choice in your life? Did that perceived power shift take anything away from your ability to choose?

There is no right or wrong answer – it’s just important to take a look at your choice styles. Let’s pick a few of the above situations and see if we can choose to see the blessing in each of them.

Situation #1: The persistent promotion passover on face value appears like it’s the worst career situation to find yourself in. One could resign themselves to feeling unwanted and unsupported, which in turn generates behaviors in yourself and those around you that may result in undesirable changes, such as being fired. The other choice you have is choose to say, “The Universe recognizes the last position I tried to promote to may not be exactly what I want or need. God knows my true desire. And, whoever receives this promotion will have to work long hours to get the work done versus my comfortable forty hour work week. My life right as it is now cannot support a sixty hour work week – I have a new baby who requires more of me than I am able to give to a demanding career right now. I love my baby and the balance I have right now is what works for me. I wanted my family more than I ever wanted this job. God will show me the best position when it’s time and I’m ready to receive it.” See how a perception change can transform a situation right before your eyes? And, that same paradigm shift is what it will take to bring forth that dream job you want – not the ego driven dream job that really fits someone else’s life. The ego driven job search rarely produces jobs aligned to who we are and what we like to do.

Situation #2: The I am in over my head with debt scenario. You could choose to feel defeated, ashamed you can’t better manage your debt or spending, and you begin to stress over how you can barely pay the minimum payments. Another choice is to first forgive and have compassion for yourself for being in debt. Recognize you made choices to incur the debt, so now it’s time to reclaim your power to bring balance in your life. Perhaps you’ve decided to take on each credit card and negotiate what’s owed to them. Or, you could consider bankruptcy to start anew. Or, you could elect to get a second job for the sole purpose of paying bills. You could create a budget. There are so many divinely led steps you could take, instead of choosing to remain in fear or denial.

Situation #3: My partner, the cheater. One can lose a bit of their self-worth with scenarios such as this one. Instead of blaming yourself or the other person, accept that it happened and thankful God revealed to you what’s going on. Sometimes, we just can’t see the subtle, low vibrational changes occurring in our relationships. Cheating is the symptom of a bigger issue in the relationship. Instead of spending too much time in grief, anger and sadness, find the blessing in that pain. “Now I know – and I had a feeling all along. I have to exercise more trust in my own intuition, but it’s okay that I did not find out until today. I can now make a choice on whether this relationship is worth saving or if it’s not. I got to this point of looking at my relationship, so I need to know why it took me this long to see the signs. At least it’s not five years later and now I can make some real life decisions with this new information.”

Any of the above ten situations could have bounds of blessings in them, if only we choose to see them. Some things that happen, at face value, look dismal – but a new perspective is what will transcend you to the next level of manifesting. You have the freedom to choose! Choose a higher vibrational rung to grasp each time, and you will be on your way to a truly abundant life.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Posted in Affirmations, Goals, Health, Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Law of Attraction, Loss, Manifestation, New Thought, Relationships, Spirituality, Uncategorized by

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 12 March 2014 Stock Image - image ID: 100246972, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 12 March 2014 Stock Image – image ID: 100246972, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Do you enjoy the puzzles in your life, moving the pieces as you are intuitively guided to do?

Or, are you railing against every moment?

On the other hand, are you passively living life, not making any decisions or letting life pass you by as you tune in to electronics/drugs/food/gambling and tune out life?

Or, are you floating with ease?

As each new situation bobs into your stream, do you splash and push it away, or do you allow it to come close to you?

Are you afraid of what comes into your stream, forgetting that you called upon the very things that have come to you?

Or, are you amused by what you see and tickled by the opportunity to bring it into your existence?

When we are creating life, not only are we creating the puzzle pieces, but the puzzles themselves. It is not outside forces creating your experiences – it is your thoughts and beliefs shaping your experiences, all before it manifests on the physical plane.

The great illusion is everything external or outside of our bodies is shifting and shaping us, but it is always the other way around – your moment to moment thoughts and states of being is what’s creating your reality.

Even when adversity is playing out in your present moment, have fun with it. Say, “This situation has come into my life. I see it and recognize the gift that it is. What building blocks rise from this gift?”

Your present situation is really a building block to the life you want. You may as well have a good time as you are building! Be glad for the experience of having puzzles to solve in your life and if you’re tired of trying to figure things 0ut – relax! Ask questions, and allow the answers to come to you. Stop focusing on why things are hard – you believing this situation is difficult is a major part of why it is! Instead, focus on other things in your life that came with ease and if necessary, list them, so you can be reminded of how quickly and easily you manifest things and situations that you do love and want around you.

Being happy and grateful for all your experiences is laying down the foundation of joy that will sustain all that you build on top of it.

All things are moving me towards my greater and higher good, including this present situation. I move through this present situation with ease and grace, oftentimes with a genuine smile on my face.

~Your Curator of all Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

An Open Letter to Jahi McMath’s Family

Posted in Inspiration, Loss, Spirituality, Uncategorized by
Image Courtesy of Piyaphon, published on 18 May 2011, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image Courtesy of Piyaphon, published on 18 May 2011, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Jahi McMath underwent surgery at Children’s Hospital Oakland, and suffered catastrophic and fatal complications. This medical tragedy has spawned controversy because Jahi’s family refuses to take her off life support. I decided to write an open letter to her loved ones and to the public about finding the courage to let go, by sharing my own experience. My son was born eight weeks premature due to a placenta abruption and he suffered severe brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain. He lived for six weeks and I, too, had to make a nightmarish decision to pull the plug.

Dear Loved Ones of Jahi McMath,

As a mother, my heart breaks for you. The national scrutiny you’re experiencing because of a choice to keep your child on life support and the horror of watching her waste away must be almost too much for a soul to bear. I will never understand the extent of your pain, but I can somewhat relate. I had to make a difficult choice to end life support for my newborn son, after I was told he was beyond healing and help. It was and is the most painful and scary thing I had to do – to make a choice to end my son’s life. As painful and as tragic as it was, it was the most loving thing I could do for him.

I know the pain you feel. The nagging envy you feel when other patients make miraculous recoveries in other hospital beds, leaving you and your child behind, prayers unanswered. The rhythmic swoosh of the breathing machines, the comforting beep of the cardiac machines, the panic that sets in when an alarm tolls, and the relief when you realize it is for another patient – I know it all. I know the anger and hatred towards the medical personnel and I know the compassion of other parents in my situation and the tireless nurses who comforts when the doctors leave with their dire prognosis. I know the helplessness of not being able to save my child. I know the guilt – oh, the guilt.

I am still haunted by the day when the case manager led me to a small conference room in the hospital near the neonatal intensive care unit. After six weeks, and days and nights practically living in the hospital, I was now going to the bowels of that old building, a corner, I’d never been to before. I’d pace the halls when the doctors had to fix his feeding tubes or asked me to leave while they performed a medical procedure and was too preoccupied to ever notice that small room.

The case manager told me it was okay to cry. Why did I need to cry? I thought that meeting was to discuss ways to keep my son alive, instead, it was a meeting with Kaiser Hospital’s top medical professionals arguing their case as to why my son would not be alive without ventilators and that his organs were starting to shut down. I looked in my ex’s face and could see the specialists had already convinced him. I knew I was the only one that did not know…what everyone else in the room knew – my son was going to die in less than a week from that fateful day. They needed my permission to sign the “Do Not Resuscitate” order. Through sobs, screaming, cursing and backing into the tightest corner of the room, I finally surrendered and signed the order.

My son, Devin Alexander Comer was born April 5, 2000, and was called home on May 18, 2000. He died in my arms at 2 AM, and my ex and I drove home before dawn, once I composed myself enough to drive. The sun’s rays cresting over the Sierras was the only piece of humanity I could hold onto, experiencing this most beautiful scene in the darkest moment of my life.

I never felt more disconnected, yet connected and dependent on the human race until I went through that life changing moment. I was vulnerable, alone, yet surrounded by family, friends and strangers that supported me through it all.

I write to you to say, your baby is here! She’s in the highest spirit form and she’s all among us now, just like my baby. She’s where no pain can grip her. She belongs to God, always have. You were chosen to be her mother while she was on this earth, and you did a fine job – I can tell by the beautiful smiles on all the pictures. By holding on to her physical body, you are not loving the part that is eternal and very real. None of us are in a position to judge you, but I am in a position to say that you will get through this, and one day you will meet your baby again in the spirit world.

I pray for peace and serenity for your family during this most difficult time. I ask all of us to raise your family up in prayer and to remember this physical life is fleeting, but our souls are eternal. 

My deepest condolences,  

Kimberly Jo Cooley