Category Archives: Love

Your Problem’s New Street Name is Opportunity!

Posted in Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Loss, Love, Manifestation, Work Life by
Image courtesy of Red Ant With Problem by photoexplorer, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Red Ant With Problem by photoexplorer, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Are you saddled with problems? Are you wrapped up in what’s not working, that you’ve neglected to focus on what is working and what opportunities you do have to change your circumstances? Well, a definite must-listen-to-twice Podcast is Rae Zander’s Everyday Attraction’s Friday, July 17, 2015 show, “Getting Current With Who You Have Become” (https://www.unity.fm/episode/EverydayAttraction_071715).

Rae asked in her show, are you loving your life, even when the shit hits the fan? We’ve come here to sometimes muck things up. Life isn’t meant to be one long, easy ride. Can you imagine how boring life would be if everything was vanilla and smooth? Me personally, I like a hellishly fun roller coaster ride to let me know I’m alive.

Stop looking at your problems, as problems! Look at them as answers to your prayers. Money troubles, health issues, relationship woes, career snags, the big Ds (divorce, debt, death), are not here to kill you, they are here because you can sculpt a blob of clay into a beautiful piece of art. The blob of clay is your life waiting for you to create what you want with it. Once you stop looking at your problems as evidence of everything going wrong, switch it around and think of it as everything going right. Practice this with seemingly small “problems” and watch how everything shifts and moves in the “right” direction. Even if you have to remold your clay of areas in your life over and over again, remember there’s no right or wrong way to create your life’s masterpiece.

Now that these areas in your life have your attention, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to continue to manifest more contrast with negative thoughts about your “problems?” Or, are you going to change course and move in a different direction? Maybe a new word to use in place of “problem” is “opportunity.”

The reason more “bad” things happen is because we dwell in the negative emotions that come with dealing with so-called problems. The more angst and anxiety around a certain subject, the more you align to that emotional vibrational frequency. Look at problems as opportunities to do and feel something different.

The truth is, “what’s going on in your bank account today is yesterday’s news,” according to Rae from Everyday Attraction. She opines we’ve already manifested the low funds and crying over the present circumstance is a waste of energy. Sure, you could cry and tell the story to all your friends that you are broke, but guess what? All that’s doing is perpetuating the circumstance you’re trying to move away from. Shift your perception to what it is you DO have and want. That’s why gratitude journals are so useful. They remind us how we are already abundant.

Abundance is not just money. If you can breathe, you are blessed. If you can read this blog post and understand what its saying, you are blessed.  If you have no pain, you are blessed. And, if you have love in your heart and are loved, you are abundantly blessed. Stop telling stories of lack, and start celebrating and holding into gratitude what’s going right in your life.

I love the term “divine discontent.” I read a Facebook post recently from a co-worker asking if her friends knew of any companies that are hiring. I know from working with her that she’s in a highly stressful job and I can relate because three years ago, that was me, too. But, I also know that her discontent is divinely sent. The uncomfortableness of her stressful job has her searching for something better, more in alignment with where she truly wants to be. She may not have articulated it in that fashion, but that’s what it is. She’s calling out for something better because her discontent is showing her she’s unhappy. And, her taking the simple step of asking friends if there are other jobs out there is signaling to herself and the Universe that she’s ready to do something about her discontent.

The uninformed person would whine about their stressful job for years before they decide to change their thinking to open up to new possibilities. But, the enlightened person takes action when they feel the lower vibrational energies stirring inside them. They realize the present circumstance is a manifestation of yesterday’s thoughts. They know their present circumstance does not bound their future – unless they allow it to. Your power is ALWAYS IN THE NOW. Act like the Co-Creator you’ve come to earth to be and get out of the victimhood mentality.

Rae says when you start to shift your perception of what’s going on is when you finally come to a place of finding more balance in your life, no matter what is actually unfolding in the present moment.

Stop looking at problems like fifteen ton weights holding you down and look at them as possibilities to set you free!

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

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Revisit: Thank you Mr. Mandela, for Teaching the Cycle of Forgiveness

Posted in Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Loss, Love, Relationships by

I originally wrote this blog post following Nelson Mandela’s death in December 2013 and I needed a refresher on the subject of forgiveness and resentment. This post deals with forgiveness in love relationships, but it really speaks to all situations that is calling for  forgiveness and letting go of resentment. My 2015 self made some edits to my 2013 post :-).

Image courtesy of "Lonely Tree" by Evgeni Dinev, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of “Lonely Tree” by Evgeni Dinev, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

“As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, that I would still be in prison.”

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

-Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela passed away today, at the age of 95. Nelson Mandela’s life – long, fruitful, inspirational, fraught with pain and struggle, triumph and victory – is something we all should aspire to be. I thank him for all the teaching moments his life brought to my life and his spirit and legacy lives on forever.

Below is a question posed to me on the subject of forgiveness and my response:

Q. Can you share your thoughts about forgiveness? I’ve always heard how people chose to forgive someone who hurt them deeply in one way or another in order to help them move on. What does that mean and how do you accomplish it?

Letting go. Time truly heals many wounds but in the meantime, how can one work on letting go of a situation? Is it best to force yourself to not think about it, i.e. whenever the thought crosses your mind, change the subject so to speak? Or do you try to keep busy and occupy yourself so as to distract you?

How does one remain hopeful of love and marriage? Is there really truly somebody for everybody?

A. Forgiveness. Such a heavy proposition, isn’t it? Why should we have to forgive those who trespass us?

It’s just as much about you as it is the person whose being forgiven, if not more about you. Not forgiving holds us back, dims and dulls our life’s experiences, and drags us down.

Nelson Mandela’s first quote above is not talking about the brick and mortar prison he sat in for 27 years for anti-Apartheid activities. He’s talking about the prison of our minds – the bondage of holding in resentment. His quote can help us better understand the notion of forgiveness in relationships and how it is necessary for moving on to bigger and better love. If we cannot let go of the pain, bitterness, anger, and resentment, then we will never fully move into the present of the here and now. The here and now is freedom to love.

Resentment comes from a misunderstanding many of us have about a situation or person. We believe they have wronged us and we come to hate a person. Remember that you called this person into your life, or at the very least allowed that person to enter your sphere. Think about the reasons why they were in your life. Acknowledge and appreciate their good qualities you loved about them. And, thank God for showing you the qualities in them that you could very much live without. It is especially the parts of a person that hurt you that has the most to offer you – the relationship is gone and over, but you now learned a little more about yourself in terms of what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

Nelson Mandela had several loves in his life, including three wives. Each of those wives, he loved deeply and considered them partners and soul mates. Two of the three marriages ended in divorce. Winnie Mandela allegedly cheated on Mr. Mandela and was emotionally neglectful to him– yet, he found love again at the age of 77, and died a happily married man at the age of 95. I read that in divorce court, Nelson Mandela smiled at his soon to be former wife, Winnie, but she turned away. He was sorrowful and humbled during the divorce proceedings and he spoke of his love and appreciation for his wife. He knew there was no hope for their relationship, but he chose to not be mired in pain and resentment towards his ex-wife.

Mr. Mandela’s story tells us that soul mates can come in many different forms and times in our lives. There are some loves in your life greater than others because of the chemistry or attachment you have to a person. As many times as you believe your soul mate is out there, is as many times your soul mate is forming and finding their way to you. Many people have great loves in their lives, not just one.

Allow yourself a little time to mourn the demise of a relationship, but write a reminder somewhere you can refer to that says when you’re ready and open, love is available to you. Dwelling in sadness only delays the recovery and the rediscovery of yourself in this life and of future loves to come. Don’t let unforgiveness of the person you once was in a relationship with slow down your momentum to a loving state of being with yourself, someone new, and old connections.

If you’ve ever tried to not think about something, then you likely know that it is almost impossible not to think about that very thing you’re trying to avoid thinking about. Deal with the feelings early and head on. Wallow, watch bad romantic comedies, cry, talk it out with friends and write in a journal. When you spend a little time mourning, remember there is a season for sadness and there is a season for moving. Take a trip, pick up a new hobby, or set up a regular volunteer activity to help move you into your new season of life and love. Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t let them rule you or your life. Give yourself a break and have fun! Dating and making new friends is an adventure – the hunt for the love(s) of your life should be a good time, with a little contrast here and there. Isn’t that why we signed up for this thing called love and life anyway?

Finally, BE forgiveness. One of the qualities we want in our mates is the ability to forgive and humility. If those are qualities you want in others, make sure it’s something you have inside yourself as well. As a matter of fact, any trait you’d like to see in your partner, bring that energy into your own being right here, right now. BE the forgiveness. Appreciate – even if all you can think of is the negative in a person or situation. The negativity or adversity is only clarifying what it is you really want in your life, so have compassion for yourself and that person. Bless yourself and the other person by praying for you and them to be love and peace.

In relationships, there will be transgressions, arguments, and disagreements. A person who can quickly regroup and forgive is one that will succeed in life and love.

The cycle of forgiveness is necessary to keep mankind in love and in check. The moment you truly forgive, is the moment you are free from the prison of resentment. Forgiveness sets us all free, both the forgiven and the forgiving. The moment each of us wholeheartedly takes part in this beautiful cycle, the moment love blooms and dwells freely inside all of us.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Freedom Consciousness: Part Six – Freedom to Choose a New Thought

Posted in Dating, Inspiration, Loss, Love, Manifestation, New Thought, Prosperity, Relationships, Spirituality, Work Life by

In looking at the above picture, we could choose to see a lonely, desolate place for a church. Some would choose not to drive on that tiny, dirt road. Others may see a beautiful place to get away, finding this lone church a sanctuary. It all comes down to choice. How are you going to choose to feel in the moment before the drive up?

Let’s look at some potentially stressful life experiences and see what your first reaction would be and then what could we choose to feel about that situation.

  1. I got passed over for yet another promotion! Why are my talents and abilities always overlooked?
  2. I ran up my credit cards again, and this time, I don’t see a way out of paying them off.
  3. I almost wished I hadn’t gone to college. I’ve racked up this student loan debt and can’t find nothing but menial jobs that barely covers my living expenses.
  4. I wished I went to college, maybe I would have had a better job than the one I have now.
  5. I think my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on me. Now what?
  6. My kids are growing up and don’t need me as much. Where does that leave me?
  7. I can never seem to make enough to make ends meet. I have a “good” job, but I’m not making enough to cover all my expenses.
  8. My parents/friends/lovers are considering a move to a faraway place. Where does that leave me?
  9. There’s so much violence, conflict and suffering in the world. What am I supposed to do about it? How can I pursue happiness when others are suffering?
  10. I was just diagnosed with _________, now what?

What’s your first reaction to each of the above scenarios? Look at them again with a new perspective. What is an alternative, uplifting alternative feeling/expression you could choose to feel in each situation?

How you traverse the mountains of change reveals how you cope with situations that move you out of your comfort zone. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • When you reflect on your past choices and paths traveled, what is your self talk saying about you after you’ve made those choices? Do you feel like you had choices in the matters that concerned you? If not, who held the power of choice in your life? Did that perceived power shift take anything away from your ability to choose?

There is no right or wrong answer – it’s just important to take a look at your choice styles. Let’s pick a few of the above situations and see if we can choose to see the blessing in each of them.

Situation #1: The persistent promotion passover on face value appears like it’s the worst career situation to find yourself in. One could resign themselves to feeling unwanted and unsupported, which in turn generates behaviors in yourself and those around you that may result in undesirable changes, such as being fired. The other choice you have is choose to say, “The Universe recognizes the last position I tried to promote to may not be exactly what I want or need. God knows my true desire. And, whoever receives this promotion will have to work long hours to get the work done versus my comfortable forty hour work week. My life right as it is now cannot support a sixty hour work week – I have a new baby who requires more of me than I am able to give to a demanding career right now. I love my baby and the balance I have right now is what works for me. I wanted my family more than I ever wanted this job. God will show me the best position when it’s time and I’m ready to receive it.” See how a perception change can transform a situation right before your eyes? And, that same paradigm shift is what it will take to bring forth that dream job you want – not the ego driven dream job that really fits someone else’s life. The ego driven job search rarely produces jobs aligned to who we are and what we like to do.

Situation #2: The I am in over my head with debt scenario. You could choose to feel defeated, ashamed you can’t better manage your debt or spending, and you begin to stress over how you can barely pay the minimum payments. Another choice is to first forgive and have compassion for yourself for being in debt. Recognize you made choices to incur the debt, so now it’s time to reclaim your power to bring balance in your life. Perhaps you’ve decided to take on each credit card and negotiate what’s owed to them. Or, you could consider bankruptcy to start anew. Or, you could elect to get a second job for the sole purpose of paying bills. You could create a budget. There are so many divinely led steps you could take, instead of choosing to remain in fear or denial.

Situation #3: My partner, the cheater. One can lose a bit of their self-worth with scenarios such as this one. Instead of blaming yourself or the other person, accept that it happened and thankful God revealed to you what’s going on. Sometimes, we just can’t see the subtle, low vibrational changes occurring in our relationships. Cheating is the symptom of a bigger issue in the relationship. Instead of spending too much time in grief, anger and sadness, find the blessing in that pain. “Now I know – and I had a feeling all along. I have to exercise more trust in my own intuition, but it’s okay that I did not find out until today. I can now make a choice on whether this relationship is worth saving or if it’s not. I got to this point of looking at my relationship, so I need to know why it took me this long to see the signs. At least it’s not five years later and now I can make some real life decisions with this new information.”

Any of the above ten situations could have bounds of blessings in them, if only we choose to see them. Some things that happen, at face value, look dismal – but a new perspective is what will transcend you to the next level of manifesting. You have the freedom to choose! Choose a higher vibrational rung to grasp each time, and you will be on your way to a truly abundant life.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Freedom Consciousness: Part Three – Financial Freedom

Posted in Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Law of Attraction, Love, Manifestation, New Thought, Prosperity, Spirituality by
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 25 July 2014 Stock Image - image ID: 100277020

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 25 July 2014 Stock Image – image ID: 100277020

To be abundant is to know and remember who you are, why you’re here, and where you’re going.

An abundant life can be expressed in having lots of money, but that is a limited way of looking at abundance. Abundance can be expressed in the love you have, or the home you’ve created (physically, mentally, spiritually), or your job with all its good benefits and perks, or when others share free meals, gifts, and windfalls of money with you. When you focus on money alone, you are limiting the Universe in being able to provide and support you with all the streams of abundance It has the ability to send your way.

How would you feel if all your needs were met and your desires were unfolding? If you trusted all your needs are truly being met in divine timing? Getting to the space of knowing you are truly well requires exercising moments in faith.

Who are you?

You are a child of God, and your Source is God. You bless the world by being uniquely you and allowing God to express through you, as you. When you know who you are, it is easier to discern what you do and don’t want in your life.

You can quickly assess whether a certain situation or experience is in alignment with your divine purpose. Knowing yourself helps to recognize, alleviate or neutralize contrast and resistance. In life, resistance and contrast are your friends. Contrast and resistance quickly reminds you of what you don’t want, causing you to begin creating and molding what you do want.

From how much to pay on a bill, to picking out a new home, to exploring debt resolution options, to knowing what  salary to ask for when applying for a job – all the answers are already in you – if you just listen to your intuition and discern it from negative self talk and others’ feelings.

Why are you here?

You are God revealed. God’s light shines through your talents and abilities. The more you reveal your authentic self and ooze gratitude, the more God is revealed through you. We all came to this life to experience being human – with life’s highs and lows deepening our love and compassion for others.

What are your talents? What are your divine purposes? I believe we have many divine, little and a few big divine purposes. We only have enough room in this human experience to do what we are spiritually guided to do. You must be able to discern what it is you want, and not adopt what others feel is best for your life. Your spirit talks to you everyday – listen to what it is saying and trust it, too.

What do you wish could reveal more of in your life? For me, my divine purposes are loving, laughing, sharing good times with others, expressing myself creatively in writing, decorating and styling, and being a mother (not just to my own biological children, but a guardian to ALL children).

Where are you going?

There’s so much emphasis in the world on where we’ve been, but we need to take a look at where we are going and where we want to go, in order to tap into our well of abundance. What’s going on right now in your life? Are you headed in the general direction of your dreams, or do you feel like you are hitting wall, after wall, after wall? The good news is, your Good is already with you, you just have to get into alignment with it. The best news is our power is in the now. So, spending time focusing on where you see your life going by visioning and meditating will help you get “aha!” moments more quickly and the next thing you know, where you were going is now where you are!

Is it by accident, luck, divine intervention that some people have a lot of financial freedom, while others struggle?

The Universal Laws is in effect for everyone. There are some more aligned to their abundance than others, and the good news is, everyone has the ability to have financial freedom should they choose to have it.

Nothing is more liberating than living within your means. After going through major shifts in my own life, I realized I never really adopted living on  a realistic budget. I was always in a feast or famine paradigm, the pendulum swinging wide and fast. One moment, I could afford a vacation, the next, I was trying to figure out how to pay all my bills. Recently, I dissected all of my finances and realized I was living way beyond my means. By finding ways to save money, including downsizing to a smaller place and selling an extra vehicle, I realized I could live a good life with what I have right now, albeit with a budget.

In my quest to better understand my finances, I realized I had a lot of abundance in my life. From the great employee benefits I have, to a good salary, to resources that have helped me to transition and manifest the life I truly want. I became more aware of the abundance around me and intuition spoke to me on what action items I needed to do next. Finally, I acted quickly on those intuitive action steps.

I misunderstood what and how abundance showed up in my life. I used to equate abundance with having designer clothes and accessories, being able to afford the things I want. As I grew awareness, the more abundance revealed itself – and it had nothing to do with a designer handbag or even a vacation. It had everything to do with how each life experience I went through shaped my consciousness and brought me one step closer to a life I truly desired. Abundance was just one of many ways for revealing who I am, why I’m here, and helping me get to where I’m going.

The Dance.

Examples of inner dialogue and dance with Divine Spirit.

I need to become more healthy. I wish I had a gym membership. Oh, wait, I do have an elliptical machine in the living room, and various weights, and great workout videos. I have what I need to work out at home. Wow! I’ve implemented 30 minutes of activity in the morning before I start my day. I am healthy. I have all I need to be what I want to be. I am so happy I AM healthy and abundant. I do not need to spend anymore money to get healthy, because I am healthy.

I am in over my head with mortgage, credit card bills, and car and student loans. There’s financial counseling through my workplace, who connected me to an attorney. The attorney is walking me through the steps of short selling my underwater home and filing bankruptcy – and the attorneys fees are paid by my employer. A few months later, I am debt free, albeit with a bankruptcy and short sell on my credit report, but I now can live comfortably. I have taken courses at my local library on how to live within my means and I have even started investing small amounts in a portfolio I started recently! I AM abundant.

Being abundant means I have faith that all my needs are met and that I am co-creating with God a life that illuminates love and light to others. God sustains me as I reveal more and more of myself.

True abundance is allowing God to support and guide to you to all the Good that awaits you. Listen, watch and be in the abundance that is already yours.

~Your Curator of All Things Inspirational and Abundant, Kimberly Jo Cooley

My Abundant Life Initiative

Posted in Goals, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Love, Manifestation, Relationships, Spirituality by

An https://abundantlifeinitiative.com/ photo.

What does initiating an abundant life mean for me? I will show you. I am starting with myself – focusing on areas of my life and seeing where I am six months from now. I will share my values and dreams and the highs and lows, frustrations and ecstatic moments of attaining and maintain them.

I am initiating abundance of love, friendship, freedom, and spirituality in my life, and will take each of you on the journey with me. It is my hope that you will read about my experiences and then see areas in your life that could use a soul stirring transformation.

I will name the areas I am focusing on and will devote at least five minutes to them each day. It is my hope the minutes will increase and over time, that area will have transformed. I will devote a blog post a week to where I am in my areas of focus.

When I first started this blog, I envisioned a website where people could come for information on how to live the life they truly want. Many people have lost touch with the life they truly want to live. I wanted this initiative to be a collective effort and encourage people to take initiative in creating an abundant life for ourselves and others.

What better way to illustrate how to initiate an abundant life, than to document and share my own experience. Thank you for going on this journey with me.

~Your Curator of all Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

What’s Your Choice?

Posted in Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Love, Manifestation, New Thought, Relationships, Spirituality, Work Life by
Image courtesy of Master isolated images, published on 23 May 2011 Stock Image - image ID: 10042798, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Master isolated images, published on 23 May 2011 Stock Image – image ID: 10042798, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

I had a conversation with a friend of mine, upset over her new boss. She just knew her boss hated her. We spent a good part of the conversation discussing how she can’t stand the lady and how she, herself was cold and distant when her supervisor asked how she was doing. She replied with a curt, “I’m fine.” But, she wasn’t fine. She was fired up and pissed. And, she was focused on the negative aspects of the situation.

I wanted to hear about what she did like about her boss and her job. She actually works at an awesome workplace, enviable for most. Instead, she focused on her disdain for this woman.

What we focus our conscious and subconscious on is what will come to pass. It has no choice but to align to what you are focusing on – not what you desire, not what you wish. Faith + Focus = Alignment with the Universe. A sure way to slow down momentum for greater things is lack of faith and lack of focus. A clear, defined focus set in your mind has to take place.

I know people who fret over the beginnings of a cold or an achy stomach. They focused and complain so much about the undesirable symptoms, they never focus on the seconds and moments they had relief.

It’s really a choice on what we choose to focus on and direct our energy to. 

Yesterday morning I was feeling a little queasy. Instead of focusing on my turning stomach and increasingly moist mouth, I shifted my focus to the parts of my body that actually felt good – really good. My lungs – breathing in and out, my legs carried me, my head and my nasal passages clear. I said aloud, “I AM feeling awesome right now.” I turned away from the small and focused on the big. The “big” was my overall good health. As soon as my attention and focus shifted, I instantly started to feel better and I wasn’t nauseous for the rest of the day.

So, to my friend – I offer you this. Focus on the aspects of your boss that you do like. What is it about her that makes her special? Despite what you may believe, there are likely redeeming qualities about her that you could appreciate. Can you find a way to celebrate the good, while shifting away from what feels bad? And, most importantly, how can YOU infuse love into the situation?

My friend may say that I’m always being positive when certain situations or pains don’t always allow for it. And, yes, there is a season for feelings that are less desirable, but let those feelings be your guide back to what it is you truly want. Don’t wallow in the less desirable, but be empowered to feel differently. Ultimately, the Universe will conspire to bring higher vibrational energy and your focus will be aligned to receive it.

I’ve had my share of bad bosses. Each time, I shifted my lower frequency vibrational thoughts (such as lack, depression and anger) to feelings I wanted to feel towards my boss, and over time, the physical experience matched the emotional signals I was sending out and calling the Universe to bring forth. Those undesirable bosses were promoted, got fired, laid off, died, joined a cruise line, or literally took a hike. But, that’s not the best part.

The best part is not the loss of an incompatible boss, but gaining an awesome one, or for some, becoming your own boss. How will you get to an awesome boss when all your energy and emotions are geared towards what you don’t want? It’s okay to be in that place for a moment, but over time, you have to shift gears and move towards solutions, resolutions and love. You will not get there if you are constantly focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do want. Exercise your power of choice.

Today, challenge yourself to look at the other side of the coin of a difficult person or situation. The power of choice, having faith and focus will guide you back to your highest desires.   

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Just Be and Let Others Be

Posted in Affirmations, Dating, Inspiration, Inspirational Quotes, Law of Attraction, Love, Manifestation, New Thought, Relationships, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Work Life by

– exploring ways to be present and non-judgmental in every circumstance and situation.

Happy balls

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 04 November 2013, Stock Image – image ID: 100215277, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

When you remove the worry of the future and stop fretting and focusing on the past, you allow yourself and/or the person in your presence to grow up to a higher level of being, just by focusing on the present. Remember, our power lies in the Now. It is what we do and feel in the present that creates the future. Why hold on to past pains and hurts, just to carry it into the future?

When you remain focused on one’s less desirable qualities and the past hurts they’ve afflicted, you are placing your energy to that which you don’t want and living in the past.

Fundamentally, there is a loss of faith when one engages in not letting others be where they are in their journey. Or, not accepting where you are in your own journey.

Allow faith into your heart and trust that all things work out for the Greater Good. That state of being will wash over you and all who come into contact with you.

From a Law of Attraction standpoint, what you focus on is what you receive. If you are focusing on the negative in a person, then more of that will manifest on the physical plane. If you celebrate even the slightest of a positive attribute, more of that positivity will unfold into your experience.

People can change, moment to moment, but it will not be because you’re nagging, begging or fighting them into transition. People change when they are ready to change. That change can happen overnight, or it can take a lifetime or two.

You can always set the space and distance between you and that person, even if you’re married (or divorced and broken up). The space and distance I am referring to is not physical, but instead spiritual and emotional. No longer will you be the instigator of fights over change because you will accept them for who they are and where they are in their journey right now. Or, you will get to a point in your own journey where it’s time to grow on and upward.

If you find you can’t be around a person because their present state is not in alignment with where you want them to be, remember, they have a journey to walk, too. Your focus must ALWAYS be on where YOU want to be. All you can do is hold on to your peace and not lower your vibrational energy to the less desirable, but to maintain the knowing that you and all around you is rising up.

We hear the saying, “live and let live,” but are we doing this with our spouses, children, parents, exes, friends and co-workers? Or, are we sticking our judgmental noses in everyone’s business or up in the air in judgment? Let judgment go – it serves no one and it most certainly will not elevate. It only keeps the energy surrounding that relationship stagnant.

To be in the present means to focus on the very moment that is before you – not the past, not the future.

Infuse love in any and every situation. When you’re having a difficult time with a person or situation, ask yourself, “how can I bring love into this situation?” Love is the cooling salve that heals us all. Self love and Universal love has to be the center of your heart and your experience.

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Decency versus Artistic Expression

Posted in Inspiration, Love, Relationships, Spirituality by
Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono, published on 14 January 2010 Stock Image - image ID: 10011501, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono, published on 14 January 2010
Stock Image – image ID: 10011501, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

People had lots to say about Beyoncé’s performance, going as far as she’s nobody’s role model and the Grammy’s show was inappropriate. My mother, had an opinion along the same vein.

“She needs to put some clothes on. It’s getting old, she’s getting old,” my mother said, after watching a YouTube video of the mega star’s Grammy performance. I asked her to expound.

“She has a daughter now. Now, my girl Emeli Sande, she’s always dressed and it’s her voice that stands out.” I made my mother watch the entire Grammy performance, certain that once she saw Beyoncé’s dance routine, surely she’d feel differently – I mean the girl was straddling a chair for God’s sake! How on earth would she be able to do that with a long gown? My mother shot me a disapproving look and shook her head, “no.” In mom’s opinion, time’s up for Beyoncé’s body suits.

Clearly, we feel differently, and at first, I was quick to write it off as yet another difference of opinion between the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers. But, something still nagged me about people’s reaction to Beyoncé’s performance.

I suppose she could have sung and straddled the chair in some biker shorts and still be sexy. But, why was it even an issue? Is America that moralistic that they could not stand to see a woman’s butt cheeks bumping on her husband’s frontal area? And, whatever happened to artistic expression and freedom? Is decency more important than an artist expressing themselves (even in a sexually charged song and dance)? 

Beyoncé is free to write, sing and perform whatever she wants to. If she wants to make a personal album detailing explicit moments between her and her husband, that’s most definitely okay. I want to hear it. Artists are not meant to fit a mold for the sake of being a role model. It’s the parents’ job to filter what their children should be listening and watching. It’s not Beyoncé’s or any other celebrity’s job to water down their artistic expression to spare someone.

I’m sure people will argue that little girls look up to her and she should save these type of performances for the bedroom. I disagree. She’s a role model not just to girls, but to women who fantasize about dancing for their man, and the world appreciating her body and her voice. She’s an excellent business woman and I’m sure a wonderful mother and wife. I appreciate her making art for herself. I think all artists have an obligation to create art just for their own appreciation.

Her performance was racy and beautiful. A woman singing for herself and to her husband, what an amazing thing. But, to appease my inherited moral compass, I tell mom, “yeah, she could put on a little more on the bottom.”

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Carving out time for Love

Posted in Dating, Love, Relationships by
Image courtesy of CNaene, published on 23 December 2013 Stock Photo - image ID: 100224326, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of CNaene, published on 23 December 2013
Stock Photo – image ID: 100224326, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

I was on writer’s hiatus this weekend, for a lover’s rendezvous with my husband. We drove forty minutes outside of town, to the California foothills, checked into a hotel, and hung out in the onsite restaurant. We ate, joked, laughed, flirted, and channeled our youth. We had every intention of exploring Gold Country, but never left the hotel – there was no need. We had each other and that was more than enough. We elected to skip the fancy dinner for a late night (1 AM!) run to In and Out Burger.

We discussed what we wanted from each other. He wanted me to be more “housewife” without the “house.” I later understood he wanted me to show more praise and appreciation for what he does for the family. I wanted more affection and more time to write. He offered to take the kids so I can write uninterrupted and he ran his fingers through my wild, natural hair (versus the very straight strands I normally wear). I surprised us both by embracing the untamed mane, standing a little taller.

I had a school assignment due for my California Literature college course where I had to post thoughts on a brief history of the Golden State. I wrote and he edited and picked the classmates I’d write a response to. We remembered we still carry super liberal ideals and we are still in love with each other. I’m sure we knew this before the trip, but our level of appreciation for each other and the union we’ve created deepened.

We had a moment to remember why and how we fell in love. We’ve known each other for twenty-two years, been together for seven, and married for almost two. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life, putting our love affair on the back burner.

Our families rallied around us by being understanding of missing my niece’s birthday party, taking care of the kids and giving us a worry-free night away. I suppose love and all the messiness that comes with it, is a worthy life investment.

Now, we’re rejuvenated, deeper in love, and our ties are more connected than before we left for the trip.

Take Aways:

  • Make time for love
  • Cherish the small and large moments of life by celebrating with a loved one
  • Partnership in love can be achieved and sustained by carving out time and energy to support it

~Your Curator of all things Love, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Ladies, Buy Your Own Flowers

Posted in Dating, Love, Relationships by

Flower courtesy of my husband 🙂

I am the source and receiver of all that I want in this life…

I was a flower thief as a toddler. There wasn’t a flower that was safe. Amusement parks with signs saying “Don’t Touch The Flowers” meant nothing to me. I’d throw tantrums if I was denied the chance to pluck a bloom. As a child, I was chased out of yards by barking dogs, all in my quest to get a rose or a tulip. Despite all of my flower passion, the only men who gave me flowers were male co-workers who pitched in for obligatory birthday bouquets or my father, who once moon lighted as a florist.

I know some women who wait and wait for men to give them flowers, gifts or love. What are you waiting for? All the Universe will do is give you more of what you’re doing and thinking – wait, wait, and more waiting. Instead of waiting, get your own flowers and love yourself. Be the source and the receiver of all that you want in this life.

I set the intention as a little girl flowers were going to come into my life and guess what? They did and abundantly! Girlfriends, family members and yours truly got me flowers. I didn’t wait for a man to provide what I could manifest in my own life. Sure, it’s nice to now get flowers from my lover, but it was even more rewarding and satisfying to pick out my own and proudly display them at work. When people asked, “who bought you the pretty flowers?” I’d say with robust pride, “me!”

-Your Curator of all things abundant and beautiful, Kimberly Jo Cooley