Your Values Are Always Your Guide

Wonder what your values are? The answer lies in your desires and what you enjoy doing most.

I used to think values had more to do with morals than they did with desires. Values are what guide us towards what we truly want for our lives.

Each of us have values that are exclusively unique to our selves. If we are constantly doing things to sabotage or dim our values, we find ourselves in constant resistance to alignment with our Spirit.

When we dissect an area of our life, we should know what we value and always ask if what we are about to say or do is in alignment with our unique values. Our values are the key to our life’s purpose and the foundation to our eternal peace and knowing. Our values are divinely contracted by God to each of us, so we can live the best life we can and be the vessels of God’s purpose.

My ten top values are:

  • My spiritual evolution
  • Living a healthy and fit lifestyle
  • Spending time with my kids
  • Spending time with my husband
  • Creativity
  • Things of beauty
  • Friendships/Kinship
  • Freedom
  • Life’s work that feeds my soul and the souls of others
  • Keeping it simple (includes finances, choices, home life – a way of life)

If my values are shining bright, I’m a happy and aligned woman. When my life is cluttered with things I don’t want to do or circumstances that collide with my values, then I am out of alignment with Spirit and probably not in the best of moods.

Now that I’ve identified my values,  it’s time to look at how much of my life is filled with experiences that support what really matters most to me. From here on out, everything I think and do must be aligned with these values.

Whenever you’re confronted with a choice, from small to big, ask yourself which is the better option that is more in alignment with your values. Always pick the option that supports your individual and unique values. Not the values of your mother, or your spouse. Too often we are looking at other people’s values and trying them on, only to find they are ill-fitting. We can’t wear other’s values, and the more we try, the more we suffer.

People with similar values typically flock to each other. If you find yourself in a situation where your values are not in alignment with family or friends, don’t worry about that. Focus in on your values and how to flesh them out more. Those who resonate with your vibrational frequency will get closer to you, others who are not a match will go away, gradually or quickly. Fortunately, like attracts like.

What are your top ten values? What can you do today, for five minutes, to squeeze out more juice in your life by supporting your values? Are there pockets in your life that causes you to be pushed further away from your values, like constantly working, living above your means, spending time with people who drain you? Knowing and tending to your values will set you free.

~Your Curator of all Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

 

My Abundant Life Initiative

What does initiating an abundant life mean for me? I will show you. I am starting with myself – focusing on areas of my life and seeing where I am six months from now. I will share my values and dreams and the highs and lows, frustrations and ecstatic moments of attaining and maintain them.

I am initiating abundance of love, friendship, freedom, and spirituality in my life, and will take each of you on the journey with me. It is my hope that you will read about my experiences and then see areas in your life that could use a soul stirring transformation.

I will name the areas I am focusing on and will devote at least five minutes to them each day. It is my hope the minutes will increase and over time, that area will have transformed. I will devote a blog post a week to where I am in my areas of focus.

When I first started this blog, I envisioned a website where people could come for information on how to live the life they truly want. Many people have lost touch with the life they truly want to live. I wanted this initiative to be a collective effort and encourage people to take initiative in creating an abundant life for ourselves and others.

What better way to illustrate how to initiate an abundant life, than to document and share my own experience. Thank you for going on this journey with me.

~Your Curator of all Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Are We Having Fun Yet?

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 12 March 2014 Stock Image - image ID: 100246972, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 12 March 2014 Stock Image – image ID: 100246972, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Do you enjoy the puzzles in your life, moving the pieces as you are intuitively guided to do?

Or, are you railing against every moment?

On the other hand, are you passively living life, not making any decisions or letting life pass you by as you tune in to electronics/drugs/food/gambling and tune out life?

Or, are you floating with ease?

As each new situation bobs into your stream, do you splash and push it away, or do you allow it to come close to you?

Are you afraid of what comes into your stream, forgetting that you called upon the very things that have come to you?

Or, are you amused by what you see and tickled by the opportunity to bring it into your existence?

When we are creating life, not only are we creating the puzzle pieces, but the puzzles themselves. It is not outside forces creating your experiences – it is your thoughts and beliefs shaping your experiences, all before it manifests on the physical plane.

The great illusion is everything external or outside of our bodies is shifting and shaping us, but it is always the other way around – your moment to moment thoughts and states of being is what’s creating your reality.

Even when adversity is playing out in your present moment, have fun with it. Say, “This situation has come into my life. I see it and recognize the gift that it is. What building blocks rise from this gift?”

Your present situation is really a building block to the life you want. You may as well have a good time as you are building! Be glad for the experience of having puzzles to solve in your life and if you’re tired of trying to figure things 0ut – relax! Ask questions, and allow the answers to come to you. Stop focusing on why things are hard – you believing this situation is difficult is a major part of why it is! Instead, focus on other things in your life that came with ease and if necessary, list them, so you can be reminded of how quickly and easily you manifest things and situations that you do love and want around you.

Being happy and grateful for all your experiences is laying down the foundation of joy that will sustain all that you build on top of it.

All things are moving me towards my greater and higher good, including this present situation. I move through this present situation with ease and grace, oftentimes with a genuine smile on my face.

~Your Curator of all Things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

What’s Your Choice?

Image courtesy of Master isolated images, published on 23 May 2011 Stock Image - image ID: 10042798, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Master isolated images, published on 23 May 2011 Stock Image – image ID: 10042798, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

I had a conversation with a friend of mine, upset over her new boss. She just knew her boss hated her. We spent a good part of the conversation discussing how she can’t stand the lady and how she, herself was cold and distant when her supervisor asked how she was doing. She replied with a curt, “I’m fine.” But, she wasn’t fine. She was fired up and pissed. And, she was focused on the negative aspects of the situation.

I wanted to hear about what she did like about her boss and her job. She actually works at an awesome workplace, enviable for most. Instead, she focused on her disdain for this woman.

What we focus our conscious and subconscious on is what will come to pass. It has no choice but to align to what you are focusing on – not what you desire, not what you wish. Faith + Focus = Alignment with the Universe. A sure way to slow down momentum for greater things is lack of faith and lack of focus. A clear, defined focus set in your mind has to take place.

I know people who fret over the beginnings of a cold or an achy stomach. They focused and complain so much about the undesirable symptoms, they never focus on the seconds and moments they had relief.

It’s really a choice on what we choose to focus on and direct our energy to. 

Yesterday morning I was feeling a little queasy. Instead of focusing on my turning stomach and increasingly moist mouth, I shifted my focus to the parts of my body that actually felt good – really good. My lungs – breathing in and out, my legs carried me, my head and my nasal passages clear. I said aloud, “I AM feeling awesome right now.” I turned away from the small and focused on the big. The “big” was my overall good health. As soon as my attention and focus shifted, I instantly started to feel better and I wasn’t nauseous for the rest of the day.

So, to my friend – I offer you this. Focus on the aspects of your boss that you do like. What is it about her that makes her special? Despite what you may believe, there are likely redeeming qualities about her that you could appreciate. Can you find a way to celebrate the good, while shifting away from what feels bad? And, most importantly, how can YOU infuse love into the situation?

My friend may say that I’m always being positive when certain situations or pains don’t always allow for it. And, yes, there is a season for feelings that are less desirable, but let those feelings be your guide back to what it is you truly want. Don’t wallow in the less desirable, but be empowered to feel differently. Ultimately, the Universe will conspire to bring higher vibrational energy and your focus will be aligned to receive it.

I’ve had my share of bad bosses. Each time, I shifted my lower frequency vibrational thoughts (such as lack, depression and anger) to feelings I wanted to feel towards my boss, and over time, the physical experience matched the emotional signals I was sending out and calling the Universe to bring forth. Those undesirable bosses were promoted, got fired, laid off, died, joined a cruise line, or literally took a hike. But, that’s not the best part.

The best part is not the loss of an incompatible boss, but gaining an awesome one, or for some, becoming your own boss. How will you get to an awesome boss when all your energy and emotions are geared towards what you don’t want? It’s okay to be in that place for a moment, but over time, you have to shift gears and move towards solutions, resolutions and love. You will not get there if you are constantly focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do want. Exercise your power of choice.

Today, challenge yourself to look at the other side of the coin of a difficult person or situation. The power of choice, having faith and focus will guide you back to your highest desires.   

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Fellowship with Humanity

Image courtesy of smarnad, published on 19 October 2013 Stock Image - image ID: 100211250, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of smarnad, published on 19 October 2013 Stock Image – image ID: 100211250, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

I had a lovely early dinner, dessert with friends Saturday evening. It started out as a late lunch and with all our talking, stretched from lunch to 9PM dessert. I was enjoying time with friends, and recognized I missed these marathon chat sessions. Remembering to “stay in the moment,” I realized why it felt so good to be amongst friends. What we were having was connection and fellowship – but not always of the church variety (we talked about everything; oftentimes, not sanctified).

Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could be in fellowship in every aspect of our life? Like at the post office, at the deli, or while waiting in a long line in an amusement park.

I bet it makes for a fun time, no matter who you’re with or where you go. I’m talking about fellowship with humanity, and letting it begin with you, your friends and spreading to all of humankind.

Last Thanksgiving Eve, I found myself, last-minute, picking up a ham at the Honey Baked Ham store – like hundreds of other people found themselves at 4:00 PM. The line wrapped around the building, snaking around the parking lot and doubling into itself. I groaned inwardly, and stared at the line, not sure if the ham was worth it. A business woman in a nice, black suit could see me thinking about leaving and she called out, “might as well join us!” I shrugged and walked over.

Soon, I was laughing with about five or six other folks in the line and by the time we reached the doors to enter the store, we seemed like old, best friends. In addition to the business woman, there were construction workers, a Comcast cable installer, a teenager who sagged his pants, and a couple of hipsters, too. Not one was glued to their cell phones, all was living in the moment. 

We laughed when we saw an unsuspecting shopper come around the corner and to see the expressions turn from smiles to “what the hell?” We chuckled and teased when a car had a hard time maneuvering about the throngs of people, and then finally having to help the driver back out of the parking space without hitting something or someone. We helped a lady find a missing earring. We collectively felt and showed empathy for the family who unwittingly brought their five children to this “boring” errand, entertaining them with our jokes.

It turned out to be one of the highlights of my 2013 Thanksgiving holiday as opposed to a memory of when I had to spend an hour and a half in a line with strangers. Having fellowship in what seemed as an unlikely place – a Honey Baked Ham store.

Imagine having fellowship all the time. What would that feel like to be present in the moment and in the company of others, all feeling good and happy to be there?

Next time you’re around a group of people, allow yourself to fellowship and see the opportunities for happiness to unfold.

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Just Be and Let Others Be

– exploring ways to be present and non-judgmental in every circumstance and situation.

Happy balls

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, published on 04 November 2013, Stock Image – image ID: 100215277, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

When you remove the worry of the future and stop fretting and focusing on the past, you allow yourself and/or the person in your presence to grow up to a higher level of being, just by focusing on the present. Remember, our power lies in the Now. It is what we do and feel in the present that creates the future. Why hold on to past pains and hurts, just to carry it into the future?

When you remain focused on one’s less desirable qualities and the past hurts they’ve afflicted, you are placing your energy to that which you don’t want and living in the past.

Fundamentally, there is a loss of faith when one engages in not letting others be where they are in their journey. Or, not accepting where you are in your own journey.

Allow faith into your heart and trust that all things work out for the Greater Good. That state of being will wash over you and all who come into contact with you.

From a Law of Attraction standpoint, what you focus on is what you receive. If you are focusing on the negative in a person, then more of that will manifest on the physical plane. If you celebrate even the slightest of a positive attribute, more of that positivity will unfold into your experience.

People can change, moment to moment, but it will not be because you’re nagging, begging or fighting them into transition. People change when they are ready to change. That change can happen overnight, or it can take a lifetime or two.

You can always set the space and distance between you and that person, even if you’re married (or divorced and broken up). The space and distance I am referring to is not physical, but instead spiritual and emotional. No longer will you be the instigator of fights over change because you will accept them for who they are and where they are in their journey right now. Or, you will get to a point in your own journey where it’s time to grow on and upward.

If you find you can’t be around a person because their present state is not in alignment with where you want them to be, remember, they have a journey to walk, too. Your focus must ALWAYS be on where YOU want to be. All you can do is hold on to your peace and not lower your vibrational energy to the less desirable, but to maintain the knowing that you and all around you is rising up.

We hear the saying, “live and let live,” but are we doing this with our spouses, children, parents, exes, friends and co-workers? Or, are we sticking our judgmental noses in everyone’s business or up in the air in judgment? Let judgment go – it serves no one and it most certainly will not elevate. It only keeps the energy surrounding that relationship stagnant.

To be in the present means to focus on the very moment that is before you – not the past, not the future.

Infuse love in any and every situation. When you’re having a difficult time with a person or situation, ask yourself, “how can I bring love into this situation?” Love is the cooling salve that heals us all. Self love and Universal love has to be the center of your heart and your experience.

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Decency versus Artistic Expression

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono, published on 14 January 2010  Stock Image - image ID: 10011501, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono, published on 14 January 2010
Stock Image – image ID: 10011501, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

People had lots to say about Beyoncé’s performance, going as far as she’s nobody’s role model and the Grammy’s show was inappropriate. My mother, had an opinion along the same vein.

“She needs to put some clothes on. It’s getting old, she’s getting old,” my mother said, after watching a YouTube video of the mega star’s Grammy performance. I asked her to expound.

“She has a daughter now. Now, my girl Emeli Sande, she’s always dressed and it’s her voice that stands out.” I made my mother watch the entire Grammy performance, certain that once she saw Beyoncé’s dance routine, surely she’d feel differently – I mean the girl was straddling a chair for God’s sake! How on earth would she be able to do that with a long gown? My mother shot me a disapproving look and shook her head, “no.” In mom’s opinion, time’s up for Beyoncé’s body suits.

Clearly, we feel differently, and at first, I was quick to write it off as yet another difference of opinion between the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers. But, something still nagged me about people’s reaction to Beyoncé’s performance.

I suppose she could have sung and straddled the chair in some biker shorts and still be sexy. But, why was it even an issue? Is America that moralistic that they could not stand to see a woman’s butt cheeks bumping on her husband’s frontal area? And, whatever happened to artistic expression and freedom? Is decency more important than an artist expressing themselves (even in a sexually charged song and dance)? 

Beyoncé is free to write, sing and perform whatever she wants to. If she wants to make a personal album detailing explicit moments between her and her husband, that’s most definitely okay. I want to hear it. Artists are not meant to fit a mold for the sake of being a role model. It’s the parents’ job to filter what their children should be listening and watching. It’s not Beyoncé’s or any other celebrity’s job to water down their artistic expression to spare someone.

I’m sure people will argue that little girls look up to her and she should save these type of performances for the bedroom. I disagree. She’s a role model not just to girls, but to women who fantasize about dancing for their man, and the world appreciating her body and her voice. She’s an excellent business woman and I’m sure a wonderful mother and wife. I appreciate her making art for herself. I think all artists have an obligation to create art just for their own appreciation.

Her performance was racy and beautiful. A woman singing for herself and to her husband, what an amazing thing. But, to appease my inherited moral compass, I tell mom, “yeah, she could put on a little more on the bottom.”

~Your Curator of all things Inspirational, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Carving out time for Love

Image courtesy of CNaene, published on 23 December 2013  Stock Photo - image ID: 100224326, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of CNaene, published on 23 December 2013
Stock Photo – image ID: 100224326, from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

I was on writer’s hiatus this weekend, for a lover’s rendezvous with my husband. We drove forty minutes outside of town, to the California foothills, checked into a hotel, and hung out in the onsite restaurant. We ate, joked, laughed, flirted, and channeled our youth. We had every intention of exploring Gold Country, but never left the hotel – there was no need. We had each other and that was more than enough. We elected to skip the fancy dinner for a late night (1 AM!) run to In and Out Burger.

We discussed what we wanted from each other. He wanted me to be more “housewife” without the “house.” I later understood he wanted me to show more praise and appreciation for what he does for the family. I wanted more affection and more time to write. He offered to take the kids so I can write uninterrupted and he ran his fingers through my wild, natural hair (versus the very straight strands I normally wear). I surprised us both by embracing the untamed mane, standing a little taller.

I had a school assignment due for my California Literature college course where I had to post thoughts on a brief history of the Golden State. I wrote and he edited and picked the classmates I’d write a response to. We remembered we still carry super liberal ideals and we are still in love with each other. I’m sure we knew this before the trip, but our level of appreciation for each other and the union we’ve created deepened.

We had a moment to remember why and how we fell in love. We’ve known each other for twenty-two years, been together for seven, and married for almost two. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life, putting our love affair on the back burner.

Our families rallied around us by being understanding of missing my niece’s birthday party, taking care of the kids and giving us a worry-free night away. I suppose love and all the messiness that comes with it, is a worthy life investment.

Now, we’re rejuvenated, deeper in love, and our ties are more connected than before we left for the trip.

Take Aways:

  • Make time for love
  • Cherish the small and large moments of life by celebrating with a loved one
  • Partnership in love can be achieved and sustained by carving out time and energy to support it

~Your Curator of all things Love, Kimberly Jo Cooley

Ladies, Buy Your Own Flowers

Flower courtesy of my husband 🙂

I am the source and receiver of all that I want in this life…

I was a flower thief as a toddler. There wasn’t a flower that was safe. Amusement parks with signs saying “Don’t Touch The Flowers” meant nothing to me. I’d throw tantrums if I was denied the chance to pluck a bloom. As a child, I was chased out of yards by barking dogs, all in my quest to get a rose or a tulip. Despite all of my flower passion, the only men who gave me flowers were male co-workers who pitched in for obligatory birthday bouquets or my father, who once moon lighted as a florist.

I know some women who wait and wait for men to give them flowers, gifts or love. What are you waiting for? All the Universe will do is give you more of what you’re doing and thinking – wait, wait, and more waiting. Instead of waiting, get your own flowers and love yourself. Be the source and the receiver of all that you want in this life.

I set the intention as a little girl flowers were going to come into my life and guess what? They did and abundantly! Girlfriends, family members and yours truly got me flowers. I didn’t wait for a man to provide what I could manifest in my own life. Sure, it’s nice to now get flowers from my lover, but it was even more rewarding and satisfying to pick out my own and proudly display them at work. When people asked, “who bought you the pretty flowers?” I’d say with robust pride, “me!”

-Your Curator of all things abundant and beautiful, Kimberly Jo Cooley